Abbie: Hello and welcome to the CosmoParenting Podcast brought to you by the CMM Institute for Personal and Social Evolution. In this space, we invite you to see yourself as someone who is curious about and actively participating in creating your own meaning around parenting.
Today, we are beginning a new month and new theme, so this is our ‘Appreciate’ episode, where we introduce the theme and offer questions to reflect on that help us to appreciate where we are and where we’ve been. Let’s begin.
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This month is about relationships. We believe that (1) relationships are co-created by the participants and (2) that everything is related in some way.
So, what does it mean that relationships are co-created? Co-created really just means created together; so the quality of a relationship, what it looks like, and how it feels to be in it, are based on how the people in that relationship choose to act and show up to each other. So, if the people in a relationship are defensive and hostile, then the relationship feels tense and distant and reflects that. If the people in a relationship are empathetic and vulnerable with each other, then the relationship feels authentic and safe and reflects this.
My hope is that this feels empowering to parents to be reminded that you have the ability to set the tone of your relationships. But, it’s also- at the same time- a good reminder that you don’t fully control your relationships with your child; they are one half of the relationship, too. So it’s important to include them in creating the kind of relationship that feels good to both of you. This surely will look different with children of different ages, but nonetheless, it’s a good thing for parents to keep in mind.
We also said that everything is related in some way. And this has me thinking about how young children love to ask the question “why?”. And when they are asking ‘why?’, what they are doing is asking about the relationships in the world that they don’t yet understand. Why did you do that? is a way of asking what is the relationship between what I did and how you reacted? Or asking why do I have to do this? is a way of asking what is the relationship between me doing this chore or task and a specific outcome? Part of parenting is helping children understand the relationships in the world. And going back to our first point, helping children understand how they can affect those relationships, too.
As we wrap up this episode, I want to offer some questions for you to reflect on for yourself. I am going to ask the questions here, but you can also find them written in the show notes, or on our Substack.
What do you remember your relationship with your parents to have been like?
How would you describe your relationship with your children now? What do you want your relationship with your children to be?
Which of your relationships are your favorite? What makes them meaningful and fulfilling?
Okay, those are the questions I will leave you with today. I invite you to spend some time in reflection after this episode ends and throughout your week thinking about these questions. I’ll also point you toward the additional resources we have at www.cosmoactivities.com and encourage you to do some of your reflecting on the CosmoParenting Substack so you can be in dialogue with our community! Thank you so much for joining us for this episode of the CosmoParenting Podcast. We are so grateful to be with you on this journey. And we’ll see you next week to hear a parenting story.
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